driven: July 2007

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

thy will be done

yes it was a tough week. rough days goin on there. but anyways i'm keeping myself on the right track as much as i can. as i have said, no more dramas. i am keeping myself positive as i feel what people should be thinking with their lives. talking to God as often as possible to keep that faith. and of course surrounding myself with positive vibes. haha. i mean - the better friends. so much for finding myself and being lost again. when it is going to happen its going to be. all has its purpose. i think it is part of growing up. life is a process of learning. i am twenty and at an early age of fifteen i've been independent in some ways. my mom raise me up to be God-fearing and so i live by it.

just as i have my God up there looking and reaching out. i will be here walking on water and on whatever plans He has in store for me i believe it'll be there in His very righteous time. He just wants me to wait and to learn things and make me ready for whatever that is he is preparing.

i also learned that it is not always that easy to express everything and release it on any thing or media or what-so-ever, sometimes it is easier feeling the hurt and accepting that you're broken, cause after that it is very nice to feel and know that you've overcome it and that any pain that yet to come can be resisted and fought because you've become stronger and better person.

don't forget to breathe. even in your ordinary day. sometimes work and studies are exhausting. you might want to take a few break. relax and unwind. life is short and we don't want to get old and haven't tried and felt moments of our youth. tell everyone you love that you love them. respect the people around even if they don't. thank and say sorry to those who deserve it. just a matter of perspective. try and try. have fun but then balance it with your priorities.

and trust God. just keep the faith.

just want to share this piece of personal prayer

Lord, you know that i feel i am not worthy of anything right now. for i have sinned and disappointed you. i have lost many times in my life still, You, oh God helped me find the way back to the right path. you have forgiven me yet i haven't done any good to you. help me God to be healed. i may have in my heart the guilt, despair and loneliness. i may feel right now the struggles and inner conflicts. just let me face the adversities with You, Oh God. i feel sorry about my past. now is another day, new day. Lord i know you want me to move on. just let me live this present holding my faith to you oh God. and guide me to a much better future, keeping the hope you've given us. Lord let me feel your love everyday, so i will not feel the emptiness because i know someone like you, Jesus, embraces me. amen.

a friend told me to read and claim this line from the bible jeremiah29:11 "I will bless you with a future filled with hope - a future of success, not of suffering"

Friday, July 20, 2007

The New Chapter: The Other Me

this is my worst fear ever
i have come cruisin' life badly
i may consider this as a test
cause i have believed in things that come in purpose

my heart is cryin
my mind wants to withdraw its fullness
my soul has weaken

this is worst than me being beaten during my childhood,
it is much unacceptable than receiving a bad letter from a teacher,
this is unsurpassable than getting zero in a long test on my highschool,
aching more than my heart has felt broken by my first love,
and much fearing than thesis during the last days of college
the rejection is unstoppable
it wanted me to PUSH until i finally
give up

the other that lives inside me wants to say goodbye for a while
he wants to rest -

the man full of funny thoughts,
the guy enjoyably joyful over things
especially those that are unexpectedly merry,
and the pursuing boy is depressed
and so the other comes in

this battle raging inside me has been blinding
on the dark side of life i have come to it
maybe now i feel safe in its blackness
you can bring me some light but i might see it as vague as nothing
for i might be misunderstood and i might not care

just because of these feeling lonely and miserable thing goin on in me
i would just for a while take time to find myself
to know what i want to do

no more shedding of tears over love reasons
no more regretting and bitterness for not finding work
this feeling of worthlessness seems a struggle
but one thing i hold on even in the dark
makes my heart go braver than anything else -
it is the love for my family

i may not love myself,
i may not be loved by others,
i may not fulfill my chosen career,
i may not build the beautiful dreams of dreamers,
but i surely will find a way
to win everything for my mom!

___

this may sound as goodbye
but nevertheless i will be back
just a little space and time for myself
plus guidance from above
is enough to get things on the right track

pray with me

___

thanks for my friends who continually supports and to those who has been a part of my life since childhood - from my real home to the cyberworld.

God bless us!

Monday, July 16, 2007

Youth Rally Behind Culture and Heritage

Matagal na ito pero ipopost ko ulit. I think na-post ko na to sa isa ko pang blog but i want to share this to my multiply friends. hehe. Just found it again sa net ( http://preservephilippineheritage.blogs.friendster.com/hcs/2006/01/youth_rally_beh.html )

La lang minsan ko lang makita name ko sa broadsheet haha I reacted on Sir Villalon's articles and there it goes. Haha. This was featured in the Lifestyle issue of Inquirer last year January 09, 2006 back in my college days. hehe. I still have the copy. It's when I realize I really can write. Wahaha. No, really but sobrang late-bloomer ako palagi. Narerealize ko mga bagay na gusto ko sobrang late na. Ewan ko ba. Anyways hope your read this one.

Youth rally behind culture and heritage

http://news.inq7.net/lifestyle/index.php?index=2&story_id=62349
By Augusto Villalon

THE START OF THE YEAR IS the time to take stock of the heritage situation, to see where our heritage journey has reached, and to see whether it is arriving at its destination.

Not many thought of heritage conservation in the far-off 1980s when people believed that cultural heritage shackled us to a dark past. Old architecture held neighborhoods and towns from progress, they believed.

Progress demanded replacing the old with the new, building anew over the debris of the old. The cycle of destruction took away many outdated cultural practices that were rapidly abandoned and replaced with the new.

Progress and embracing new ideas are essential to the growth of a society. However, respecting the past is vital in keeping the thread of national continuity alive no matter the march of modernization.

There has been a change of attitudes since then. Conservation issues, the Jai Alai and Arroceros Forest Park demolitions, have become rallying points, making more people aware of their heritage. Now in many agendas is the preservation and revival of Philippine culture-from architecture to festivals, dances, literature, and so much more.

Student correspondence

Letters received recently from students at the University of Santo Tomas prove that the youth is moving into the front lines of conservation.

Mary Shella Senga comments on the revival of the traditional Misa de Gallo procession in the Parian of Cebu that ushered in the city's Christmas season last month.

"The Parian of Cebu is the symbol of change or modernization, but at the same time, (of) saving the culture and traditions that were once experienced by many... Kaguikan sa Parian shows that Cebuanos will always be proud of their heritage and they would always keep in their hearts and minds what they had before (while) coping with the 21st century."

Quennie Chiu says that since she has become aware of conservation, she has "learned more about our culture and (the) heritage of our country."

Jomar Bautista writes that "your column opened our eyes to one of the vital reasons why we (students) should continue to strive to be architects: to reestablish and revive structures that pay homage to Philippine culture and the arts. You also made us see places we failed to recognize as part of our heritage, allowing us to think that these places are part of our culture... "

Jansen Alias writes, "You have reminded me of some of the things that we sometimes are forgetting to consider in architecture, such as environment and heritage, which directly affect us... neglecting them could be detrimental (to) designing an efficient building that would hinder the growth and lives of people in it."

He continues, "Our country is facing different types of challenges today in different fields, including architecture. Really, there is much to be done in order to make more Filipinos realize the unique pride of place in different regions of the archipelago. I believe that as Filipinos, each of us have our own duty to serve our nation that is rich in heritage and treasures. You have featured how each province boasts of a natural or architectural wonder, which is great and really something to be proud of.

"Just as you wrote in some of your articles (Carcar, Cebu), I found out that nothing is impossible if only all of us, i.e. government, citizens, church, NGOs, etc., would get our act together toward one common goal."

Everyone's duty

From Johnus Mirazol come these observations, "I have become an enthusiast of architectural conservation and preservation. I think it is good that even though we are in a period of constructing smart, grand and high-rise structures, we still give importance to the glorious past and history that we have."

Mirazol continues: "Buildings and historic places are non-living entities, but these are mirrors expressing a rich culture and history... but (they) will definitely stand in time, even for centuries, and these witnesses will tell us of the affluent culture and patrimony that was handed to us by our forefathers."

"I hope that there will come a time that architectural heritage conservation and preservation will be the duty (not only) of the few, but of all. It's not yet too late to start rebuilding what we have lost, for that is the only way that we would be able to start the foundation of our future."

Another UST Architecture student, Julius Marzan, writes that articles published on this column provide readers the "information on what's going on in different places in and out of the country," the "historical significance" of structures, and the "need for (their) conservation."

"I am also glad that the cultural importance is pointed out in your articles, which hopefully would boost the enthusiasm of Filipinos (so that they could) improve and beautify the wealth of our culture, especially in places which we can be proud of."

Marzan expresses the hope to develop the "heart for our nation and the motivation in conserving and preserving important structures and places which signify the past; (this would) help shape a better future for the Filipinos."

As the student letters show, we have come quite a way since the 1980s in the quest to preserve our heritage. With the growing involvement of the youth, rediscovering and protecting our heritage will become a national priority sooner than we expect.

E-mail the author at afv@hotmail.com

Saturday, July 14, 2007

MOVIE gimik

I had the time to go with my college friend yesterday for a movie gimik. I was just supposed to go to Sta. Lu at 7pm to meet with my boss and I thought it would be better if I had to do something before it, so I called my friend and out of the blue invited her to watch HARRY POTTER and the ORDER of the PHOENIX. I'm a fan of the book eversince but haven't had a chance to read book 5 onwards because I was busy back then and been reading lot of pretty good books lately. So we decided to meet up in Gateway and watched there. I was so happy because for a long wait of a potter movie It's like seeing something I have missed for a long time. It's almost 4:30 when the movie finished but then we thought it would also be fun if we watch Transformers. So I texted my boss if I still would meet her at 7 and luckily she postponed it and make it a monday instead. So we ran to RobEast (cause the showing time of transformers in Gateway is kinda late na) and ate dinner before we watched (while watching/listening to Bloomfield, a rising band with beattle-type songs). The movie Transformers is oh so GREAT, the effects are surely two thumbs up. It was near real-life! And oh, the stars are cool (well of course aside from the autobots).

It was great day. I had fun aside from the movie of course we had time to get chismax from each other. haha. The only bad thing is we're both waiting for a call to work. We always wanted to work na and had applied on some companies but I guess that's just how our career goes, it's hard to get a job nowadays. And arkilife is really tough. I pray we'll be having our career real soon.

Sunday, July 08, 2007

sabado fever

kahapon sabado naumpisahan ko ang aking umaga ng masalimuot. bukod sa may sakit ako meron akong tinatapos na project sa work na pinapagawa sakin ng isang architect. hindi ko ito natapos. akala ko pa naman magkakaroon na'ko ng first sweldo ngunit dahil sa hindi magandang performance ay binigo ko lamang si madam boss. hay. actually wala pa kong official work, iyon ay sideline na kumuha sa'kin para kahit papaano eh matrain ang blangko kong utak.

bago kami magkita at umalis, nanuod muna ako ng opening ng UAAP 70th season sa studio 23, salamat kay elijah (highschool chorva friend) at tinext ako.. wah host pala ang University of Santo Tomas. buti na lang. pero may pagsisising naganap sa akin dahil dapat ay nasa araneta ako para mapanuod ng live, dahil deadma ko sa mga nagbebenta ng ticket, malay ko bang UST pala magpeperform, ayan tuloy todo sisi ang lolo mo. Amfotesh, anlupit talaga ng school ko. hahahaha. kahit na alumni na 'ko sobrang mahal na mahal ko tong UST. waaah. iloveUST. hehe. ang kulit eh no. ang astig kasi eh. sobra. manalo matalo nasa puso ko pa rin ang pagiging TOMASINO. astig-cool-malupit-talented-cute-bonggangbongga-humble-prayerful-lahatna!. hehe. kahit madalas tong bahain sige lang at lumalaban. weh konek. haha. basta sobrang namimiss ko na tumapak ng espana lalong lalo na sa loob ng the royal and pintifical catholic university U-S-T. Go USTe! tigers power. hehe. sana manalo ulit salinggawi at lahat ng tiger teams na lalaban this season, mula basketball hanggang volleyball, taekwondo,fencing, baseball, soccer, swimming...atbp. God Bless UST! proud to be thomasian. yuck ang OA ko na.

ayun na nga matapos ang malupit na opening pumunta na ko ng sta.lu para iabot ang drawings. sabi ko na ayos lang na di ako bayaran dahil binigo ko naman siya sa pangakong tatapusin kaya ayun ang first sweldo ko ay tumataginting na 200 pesos. haha. ayos lang no. dapat nga wala eh. sobrang nakakahiya kasi. kung wala lang akong sakit at mediyo mas mahaba yung time eh natapos ko sana. ayon at least experience wise, i've done my best.

tapos dinalaw ko yung anak ng pinsan ko sa marikina. at timing eh may handa ang isa kong pinsan na pumasa sa board - si joanna a.k.a. onang. haha. astig dami handa. ansarap ng grilled liempo. kung wala lang sanang langaw sa spaghetti. haha. pero keri lang kain pa rin ako. haha. bakit ba. pero tinabi ko yung iba. haha. plastic. in fairness ansarap. eh eto pa, makakatakas ba naman ako sa tagayan? ayun napa-inom tuloy ako ng wala sa plano. dpat talaga hindi ako totoma eh kahiyaan na lang di ba, tsaka naguilty ako dati nung may tinanggihan akong shot sa house ng friend ko. haii. ops. zero-alcohol ba kamo? hehe pass muna ko sa 100% pure may okasiyon naman. weh. sana maintindihan po ninyo. hehe. ayun na nga.

buti dumating yung iba ko pang pinsan. kasabay ko umuwi mediyo may tama na kasi ako nun. kaya pinainom muna ako ng kape bago bumiyahe. baka mapano pako sa daan. haha. epal. pero ayun nasa pag-iisip pa naman ako. kasi for more than a year ata hindi ako umiinom, last siguro nung november 2005? basta 19 palnag ako nun tsaka birthday ko, h ngayon 20 na'ko. hehe.

pag-uwi ko, mejo sumubo pa'ko. ayun ayos naman nakatulog ako agad, haha.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

THE REAL THING (Love Should Feel Good)

This is an entry I got from my account at http://www.dailyom.com/ that I want to share to everyone cause it's one of my fave entry there. I tell you have to register here cause all of the entries makes you realize some things within you.

June 4, 2007
The Real Thing
Love Should Feel Good

Often in our lives, we fall prey to the idea of a thing rather than actually experiencing the thing itself. We see this at play in our love lives and in the love lives of our friends, our family, and even fictional characters. The conceptualizing, depiction, and pursuit of true love are multimillion-dollar industries in the modern world. However, very little of what is offered actually leads us to an authentic experience of love. Moreover, as we grasp for what we think we want and fail to find it, we may suffer and bring suffering to others. When this is the case, when we suffer more than we feel healed, we can be fairly certain that what we have found is not love but something else.

When we feel anxious, excited, nervous, and thrilled, we are probably experiencing romance, not love. Romance can be a lot of fun as long as we do not try to make too much of it. If we try to make more of it than it is, the romance then becomes painful. Romance may lead to love, but it may also fade without blossoming into anything more than a flirtation. If we cling to it and try to make it more, we might find ourselves pining for a fantasy, or worse, stuck in a relationship that was never meant to last.

Real love is identifiable by the way it makes us feel. Love should feel good. There is a peaceful quality to an authentic experience of love that penetrates to our core, touching a part of ourselves that has always been there. True love activates this inner being, filling us with warmth and light. An authentic experience of love does not ask us to look a certain way, drive a certain car, or have a certain job. It takes us as we are, no changes required. When people truly love us, their love for us awakens our love for ourselves. They remind us that what we seek outside of ourselves is a mirror image of the lover within. In this way, true love never makes us feel needy or lacking or anxious. Instead, true love empowers us with its implicit message that we are, always have been, and always will be, made of love.

(if the link above doesn't work, try the one in My Links here in multiply)

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