driven

The New Chapter: The Other Me

this is my worst fear ever
i have come cruisin' life badly
i may consider this as a test
cause i have believed in things that come in purpose

my heart is cryin
my mind wants to withdraw its fullness
my soul has weaken

this is worst than me being beaten during my childhood,
it is much unacceptable than receiving a bad letter from a teacher,
this is unsurpassable than getting zero in a long test on my highschool,
aching more than my heart has felt broken by my first love,
and much fearing than thesis during the last days of college
the rejection is unstoppable
it wanted me to PUSH until i finally
give up

the other that lives inside me wants to say goodbye for a while
he wants to rest -

the man full of funny thoughts,
the guy enjoyably joyful over things
especially those that are unexpectedly merry,
and the pursuing boy is depressed
and so the other comes in

this battle raging inside me has been blinding
on the dark side of life i have come to it
maybe now i feel safe in its blackness
you can bring me some light but i might see it as vague as nothing
for i might be misunderstood and i might not care

just because of these feeling lonely and miserable thing goin on in me
i would just for a while take time to find myself
to know what i want to do

no more shedding of tears over love reasons
no more regretting and bitterness for not finding work
this feeling of worthlessness seems a struggle
but one thing i hold on even in the dark
makes my heart go braver than anything else -
it is the love for my family

i may not love myself,
i may not be loved by others,
i may not fulfill my chosen career,
i may not build the beautiful dreams of dreamers,
but i surely will find a way
to win everything for my mom!

___

this may sound as goodbye
but nevertheless i will be back
just a little space and time for myself
plus guidance from above
is enough to get things on the right track

pray with me

___

thanks for my friends who continually supports and to those who has been a part of my life since childhood - from my real home to the cyberworld.

God bless us!

posted by juliusmarzan @ 9:53 PM