driven

Facing The Giants

It was a super big week for me last week. It started off Tuesday (June 5, 2007) when we had our SOLA2 leaders household. It was like a balik-eskwela household and farewell household to some leaders in our group. It started late around 5pm cause some had school and I had to go find a job. It was a tiring day but seeing these young leaders in our community made me feel better. This young hearts although you know they had their own probs and stuffs do have their hyper energy felt in the house (Tito Mar's). We had a bit of discussion (kinda debate with Alvin on the frontline throwing questions to Girlie (fresh from Summer House Training that time). It was a lively and fun-filled household I may say, almost complete attendance and all is so eager to share and to just have fun. Although I have shared what I was feeling the previous days before household - which was not really good - God just so affirmed to me that I have to fully trust in Him and surrender everything. Then after we ate our food (care of our couple coordinator...nyahahaha...bitin yung pansit pero nagkasya naman...haha...basta food talaga! haha) we went to Arvin's house (our clusterhead Sam's brother) to watch what I prepared last night. It was a video for the farewell of my partner, and two other leader - which had to transfer on other service in the community to answer God's higher calling. It was a touching part of the household as all of us gave our personal message to the three. We had our household ended by near midnight. hehe. Youth nga naman. What I realized - it is not the hard things we do that matter it's the joy that comes to it everytime you'll see the people that you know will help you along the way and just inspire do better things because simply put - you love these people.

*****

Thursday (June 7, 2007), service meeting in Nico's house for the discovery camp and CFC anniversary. We also watched the movie "Facing the Giants", It was a story of an american football coach, with his team that loses every game they play. He also has a wife who dreams to have a child but the coach seems to have some "reproduction"-thing problem and so it's hard for them to have a child. Their house has that worse smell they can't seem to find where that smell started plus an old car he uses everyday but always had mechanical problems. He was so pressured everyday, going back into the house bad mood. Until he heard he was going to be replaced as the coach of their school's football team. As he face the different problems the players were facing in the school and their homes. One of his good player transfered home and school, one just get angry with his dad, and some fails schoolwork and can't balance between studies and football. All these he experienced in this time of his life, all together when all was so devastating and troubling. Until one day he just woke up, holding a bible and goes outside their house under a tree with sunlight on his face opening the bible and reading a verse about God being our fortress. He just surrender everything to the Lord and trust Him. He says that whatever happens He will love Jesus with all his heart. After that he went back to their house and plan for their game - all using his bible. One question for his team building was : What's the purpose of their team?. Then he gathers his team and started to talk. The whole team don't take it seriously at first cause they're used to their usual training routine which is just pure playing. The coach just taught them that in whatever they do they must give everything to the Lord, win or lose they praise Him. And that they use their full strength and never give up. Until their game started, they bagan and end their game with a prayer finishing every prayer with the line - win or lose we praise you. The whole worked hard and unified by the Lord as they take their journey towards the national game (which they don't even expected) until they face the Giants (a team with three comsecutive wins). Strong faith, prayers and bonding get them to their unexpected and heart-pumping win. After that all came good - he had received a brand new car from one of his players that he adviced to say sorry to his rich dad, he has inspired his players to just gave their best shot every game and balance their studies with football, he has found where that smelly thing in their house came from, and after two years tehy had two championships and two babies. God just provided him everything he need because he didn't become afraid to surrender everything to the Lord. He walks on water with no fears. The bible become his weapon empowered by his faith and prayers. Lines I love from this movie:

"If you are not weak and small how will you realize that God is mighty"
"Lord you are my fortress... I trust in You"
"Never give up"
"Win or lose - praise God"
"Nothing is impossible with Christ..."

After the service meeting I felt so empowered, I realized things I've been thinking a lot lately - the thing of giving up my service, the question why am I not happy with what I am doing. By then He just made me think again and simply embrace me with His words.

****

Saturday - Sunday (June 9-10, 2007) I came to the reatreat of Kasangga East A and B at Taytay, Rizal.The day before this retreat I thought I would never get a chance to attend but then I made a way, I wrote a letter to my nanay, that I need money for the retreat because of the registration. I said to myself that whatever amount she puts in it, may it be small or just enough, I will go. And God just really wants me to go because my nanay left me money (although not enough I can manage).

I'm ashamed to myself for attending this retreat cause I know I have sinned a lot and felt unworthy being one of these great leaders I get by. But I also said to myself that maybe this will also be a great time for me to reflect on some things and I know that i will learn a lot of things especially in serving here in the community.

Talk One: The Calling by Kuya Dylan
I had been reminded of my becoming a Youth for Christ. The attitude that a leader should have and the great privilege because I am called by God to simply touch the lives of the youth and share God's overflowing love to everyone.

Talk Two: First Among Equal by Ate BJ
Working out on seven core values of YFC : Passion, Integrity, Endurance, Creativity, Excellence, Empowerment, and Unity and Teamwork. I admit I am imperfect and everyone is. It just a matter of knowing the goodness in every decision we make and being true to what we believe.

Talk three: Transfiguration by Kuya Jepoy
Finding true happiness in the midst of hardship - One answer to my question of why am I not happy. And that's why God really wants me to be in this retreat because He planned all this, he has prepared a good answer to my question. We are the youth who embrace the cross and follow Jesus.

Talk Four: Letting Go by Kuya Mike
This was the most touching part of the night. In being a leader and in serving fo God we should not expect an easy and comfortable life, we should not be attached in our personal desires and we should get over our past because this are things that weakens us and become hindrances in true loving and sharing. Letting go and letting God is just what God wants me to do all this time. The time I have lost will, I have weaken my heart and the time I thought I will give in.

***

After the sunday kasangga assembly we went staright to marikina sports complex to practice for prais parade this coming June 24 at Luneta for the CFC anniversary (haggardness because it's so hot and I didn't got a good rest the night before because late an rin nagpatulog nung retreat). And then SIGA texted we will be having our Gawad Kalinga build the day after. Wuhoo. I was so excited but then since most of us is tired during the kasangga it is okey to do it some other time. Sunday night, I had mass with my highschool friend, and talk for a while (pero siyempre umuwi muna ko ng bahay para magfreshen-up...haha...kahit super antok and pagod na'ko). After we had our small talk in chowking I went home and go to Krizel's house together with my new partner and cousing Onang. I had installed her PC a photoshop and thought her some and we had some minin-bonding in her room. After the night around 11pm we saw Sarah and invited us in her house. We bonded with her brother Christian and their bunso BJ (?). We ate a little and update each other on some stories we could share.

****

June 11, 2007 - Monday, since pinagpaliban ang GK for YFC sa cluster, we had our upper household kina Rosean. It was also a farewell and welcome household for new services. It was fun although nakakaiyak dahil sa mga aalis and sa mga messages. We gave Sam and Girlie letters that we made. Sam taught us so many things along the way and she really knows how to make each one of us special and feel loved, so that we, ourselves can share God's love for us to our members. I also been reaffirmed that we had each other and God when we feel weak and helpless.

****

Now I am making everything clear with myself. Slowly, I know I can manage things I've been so worried about because I believe that God is enough. I may not be blessed with all my needs but I know that He has plans and purpose in all that is happening with me right now. And in time, as I face all the giants on my journey here on earth, with God on my side, heaven will be reached and true happiness will come without searching and just believing.


Heart Of Worship

when the music fades
all is stripped away
and i simply come
longing just to bring
something that's of worth
that will bless your heart

*** i bring you more than a song
for a song in itself
is not what you have required
you search much deeper within
through the way things appearyou're looking into my heart

chorus
I'm coming back to the heart of worship
and it's all about you
It's all about you, Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the thing i've made it
when it's all about youit's all about you, Jesus

King of endless worth
no one could express
how much you deserve
though i'm weak and poor
all i have is yours
every single breath

*** and chorus

*I bring you more than a song ...
you’re looking into my heart looking into my heart …
I bring you more than a song ...

Labels: facing-the-giants

posted by juliusmarzan @ 3:28 PM