driven

His Love Story (part 3: itong kantang to)

by jcsm

For now, I will not write about his story but their story - lovesong story. Hmm let us see how this will go. Sana makaya ng powers natin ang istorya nila in songs. haha.

"I was alone thinking I was just fine
I wasn’t looking for anyone to be mine
I thought that love was just a fabrication
A train that wouldn’t stop at my station
Home, alone, that was my consignment
Solitary confinement
So when we met I was getting around you
I didn’t know I was looking for love until I found you ..."
[i didn't know i was looking for love by sitti]

Okey kamustahin muna natin si girl? hmmm (a) loner, (b) takot umibig, (c) busy sa buhay buhay o (d) epal lang talaga? well not until she finds this man. Sabihin na lang natin they met somewhere in time nung bagets pa sila. At eto naman si lalaki kakatapos lang ng matinding break up noon. Mejo kasi may pagka play boy. Andalas tuloy iwan. Eto naman ang drama ni mister chick boy:

"It was you who first believed
In all that I was made to be
It was you looking in my eyes
You held my hand
And showed me life
And I've never been the same
Since you first believed ... "
[you first believed by hoku]

'Yun yun eh, malalalim naman pala si lalaki eh. Kelangan lang niya ng someone na iintindi sa kaniya, yung tipong masusungkit ang kaibuturan ng kaniyang puso. hala. Panu kaya yun?!

"You make my dreams,
Come true over and over again.
And I honestly, truly believe,
You and me are written in the stars
And in my whole life through,
Just giving thanks to you.
Cause your eyes are the windows to heaven.
Your smile could heal a million souls.
Your love completes my existence.
You're the other half that Makes Me Whole.
You're the only other half that Makes Me Whole ..."
[make me whole - amel larrieux]

May ganung drama talaga? nakatadhana kuno Written in the stars daw. wushoo, ang lupit. Destiny?! haha. Hmm... siyempre ang sabi ni boy sa girl "you complete me.." ops parang movie lang. haha.

"Di kita pipilitin
Sundin mo pang iyong damdamin
Hayaan nalang tumibok ang puso mo
Para sa akin
Kung ako ay mamalasin
At mayron ka nang ibang mahal
Ngunit patuloy ang aking pagibig
Magpakailanman..." [para sa akin by sitti]

Aii talagang gumaganon. Mahal ka na oh, anu pa?! kilos na go, go, go! patweetums pa kasi si girlalu. haii.

"Oooh I... wanna give you all my love
I wanna show you everything that my hearts made ofheaven sent from above
oh I.. wanna make your wish comebaby there is anything I'll do,
I'll do for youso I give to you... all my love.. all my love ..." [all my love by inner voices]

Yihee, kinikilig. haha. totoo nga ba yun? Eh siyempre in love na si girl kaya sagot na agad. sila na?! yup yup yup. Pero ano 'tong mga naririnig ko sa paligid. hala...

"Your friends are sorry for me
They watch you pretend to adore me
But I'm no fool to this game
Now here comes your secret lover
She'd be unlike any other
Until your guilt goes up in flames..." [my favorite mistake by sheryl crow]

Huli ka boy. tsk tsk tsk. Sino si third party? aiian galit ang lola mo.

"And keep talking that mess,
thats fineCould you walk and talk, at the same time?
And its my name that’s on that jag
So go move your bags, let me call you a cab
Standing in the front yard, telling me
How I'm such a fool, talking 'bout
How I'll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted ..." [irreplaceable by beyonce]

Nagaaway na.. hala...

"in the closet thats your stuff
but trick i brought it so bitch dont touch
you talk alot of bullshit allright
but while you walk and talkimma get mine now
it my name thats on your lass
you bald-headed rat trying to get rid of that..
back up out my face broad im really not trying to talk to you
talking about im never gonna find a girl like you
you must got me fucked up..." [irreplaceable male version by bboy truth]

Ops, sinagot daw talaga. 'Wag iinit ang ulo. tsk tsk tsk. kinabukasan...

"Im so sorry that I tore your heart apart last night(And Im sorry)
And Im sorry if I scarred you again today (I didntmean to take your dreams)
I didnt mean to take your dreams (Mmm)
and make them seem so trite (I sincerely)
I sincerely (Oh), completely (Yeah) apologize fordoin what I did..." [i'm sorry]

Magsosorry din naman pala eh... sus... natutunan na siguro niyang mahalin talaga. eeeh. anu bah.

"Wag mong isipin na hindi kana mahal
Sarili ko`y hahanapin ko lang
At ang panahon at ang oras ng aking pagkawala
Ay para rin sa ating dalawa
Wag ka sanang lumuha
Sana`y intindihin
Ito ang dapat nating gawin
Upang magkakilala pa
At malaman kung tayo
Ay para sa isa`t isa..." [cool off by yeng constantino]

At dahil sa mga nangyayari sa kapaligiran yan, at cool off daw muna sabi ni girl. Nyeh, bakit 'di pa break up?! di rin naman tinanggap yung sorry. hala. nakanaman yan.

"Since you've been gone I've been lonely
Longing to be with you only
Maybe there's still is a way I could find you and say.. just how I feel
I can't believe that it's over
Wished somehow I could have showed her
All that was inside my heart 'stead of playing the games
You might have stayed..." [oh well by boyziimen]

Nagsosorry na nga kasi before eh. Oh well kung trip mong magpaka-lonely sige't magpataasan ng pride. sige ka. pero ano tong may hinanakit na dinarama pa rin si girl at si boy.

"I thought my life was over without you
Thought I would be oh so sad darling
'Cuz you left me here, to face all my fears
All by myself, with nobody else
Now that you're gone I just gotta move on
But my lovin's never changed
It'll always stay the same
I felt you were wrong
The lonely nights are long
I get weak then I'm strong
It gets easier" [easier by kandi with faith evans]

Hmmmm. Tapos ngayon ganiyan ang drama, feeling lonely. At talagang moving on kuno. Aiian, they both wait pathetically to each other, di naman maka let go.

"I try to run from your side
But each place I hide
only reminds me of you
When i turn out all the lights
Even the night
only reminds me of you..." [only reminds me of you by st.paul]

Asus mahal pa naman kasi eh. Kung anu ano pa ginagawa para lang makalimot.

"I'm not a saint
I'm just a man
Who had heaven and Earth In the palm of his hand
but I threw it away
So now I stand here today asking forgiveness and if you could just please
Give me another chance to write you another song
And take back those thing's I've done
Cause I'll give you my heart
If you would let me start all over Again..." [another song - all over again by justin timberlake]

After ilang weeks...sorry na daw ulit sabi ni chikboy. kung pwede kayo na daw ulit? haii. dalawang isip pa ba? thsss. Hala si girl ang ngiti andito na oh, ayan oh nafifeel ko. haha.

"Oh, yesterday I was feeling safe
All I do today is trying to be brave
And no melody can seem to soothe my mind
And now I curse you for being so sweet and so kind..." [tattoed on my mind ]

Yikee. balikan blues.

"When she cries, at night, and she doesn't think that I can hear her.She tries, to hide, all the fear she feels inside.So I pray, this time, I can be the man that she deserves.'Coz I die a little each time,When she cries..." [when she cries by restless heart]

Awww. ang sweet. second chance?! at yun nga ang nangyari. dinaan sa harana si girl. haha. Ops... nilalanggam ata ako. Nyeh.

"Hey look at the sun it’s finally shining on my life
It’s shining on my lifeAnd it’s all because of you
It’s finally shining on my lifeFor me and for you..." [hey look at the sun by sitti]

Happy ending din naman pala. Pero wait di ko naman makita yung sun, i get blind, borrow ng shades?! haii korni... parang love.

Labels: lovestory

posted by juliusmarzan @ 3:19 PM 2 comments

His Love Story (part 2: moving on)

by jcsm

A girl from the church has made him smile whenever they got the chance to meet. She was pretty and charming. He thought she was too beautiful for him and is afraid that when he tells her how he feels she might turn away. For she only wants that friendship. And for a year he has kept that friendship valued. There are moments that he would like to meet her up and have some private talks, but he is too shy and still confused. He do not have the courage and so that what makes him a weakling when it comes to courting or showing affection to girls. Negative taken against him. Precious time are so wasted. Eversince, he do not get girls that she likes, he haven't experience the joy of falling in love.

One day, he was taking a ride to go to his relative's house until he saw this "church girl" she once liked. The moment he saw her made his calm heart beats a little faster. She is more pretty than the last time he saw her. For months he has forgot how he felt for that girl and now in an instant it seems like its all getting back. It seems like the good old times. The difference was there's like a high invisible wall between them now, she is with someone, and that for a second made him a bit jealous and also made him feel weaker. The girl was happy but he's clueless of what this someone got to do with his friend. Then after that beautiful face he once admired had been viewed, she had gone. He did not want to follow her - and so back to where he sat, he travels his way to the place where he was supposed to go but unable to erase what he just saw. It was like running a race with a mind unfocused, flying out of the open air thinking of blank things but her face and what ifs, not realizing there is nowhere to go. Although his senses been blunt for a while after that incident, he just let things go and move on. He finds his way back to his home and there in his bed he rest for a while trying not to think of her and then he slept with a tear that gently fall in his eyes.

Labels: lovestory

posted by juliusmarzan @ 3:17 PM 0 comments

His Love Story (part 1: ready...set...love!)

It was later that night when he felt the agony of pain rushing his nerves. He didn't want to become obvious until someone just came by and surrender a helping hand. He was not sure of what he is feeling but that someone made him a bit comfortable. As he lay his head to that someone's shoulder, he felt much relaxed but the pain still drift that emotion.

As time pass by he finds happiness to that someone. He wasn't sure again. His doubt has become seriously taking over. He didn't want that feeling to get in him. He wanted that friendship to last longer. It was hard for him to get through all this again. For in a long time he has been fighting that same emotion years ago before he met that someone, and has been fighting over and over again until he cries for longing and it's gone. He wanted to get tired. But he is loving, he always unintentionally falling, falling and there's always none to catch him.

His heart is empty in a long time. His wound is covered with bandage. And that bandage has been replaced many times but the wound still not healed. That wound, in some moments, just gets through him and he can feel the pain. The pain he wanted to be forever lost in his system. He wishes to just simply throw it out. But it's not that easy. And again, he is fighting. He want his feelings to pass just like a wind and it will be forever gone. And so he decided to become busy of things that is more important. But what is more important than love? What is more important than having that hope of feeling special?

He is not searching for love. In fact he loves loving, just loving people. He hates hatred. And he hates the fact that people hate him. For again, he just want to feel loved and be loved. And he is, God has loved him. God never left his side, eventhough he forgets to talk to Him - intentionally or not, He would just let his heart speak out. He simply listens. God don't want him to feel lonely, for he is a loving son. But he is so unworthy, he is sinful. But what is good about him, he remained faithful - despite the pain, the anguish, and the wound unhealed. He is hopeful of things coming and of his dreams he wanted to pursue. A dreamer, although weak, never had the heart to surrender. That dream pushes him, with the help of his inspirations, faith that is never-ending and a hope that is burning with the desire for it to become reality.

Now he just want to leave his emotions behind to that someone. For he knows it is wrong to like that someone, moreover mistakenly be in love. He pray that when time come that he'll meet again this people he wrongly fall in love with, they will understand him - that he is sorry for he doesn't take his heart controlled and that he is more sorry for himself being able to love, like or get infatuated to them. Although he wants to let things out, although he want his other side to be freed, he is afraid of people that would judge him. He is afraid of the surroundings that would eventually, if he gets into the wrong way, make himself all the way on his journey be a failure. He is afraid of surrendering his fears. But he challenge himself to face this fears.

They say that love lost , wherever or whatever way you put it, will always be and still is - love. It will be forever be in your system, although it fades there's still a pinch that'll be left and it will become your memories - cherished or not. For today, he has uncherished memories. But his book is not yet closed for stories that will soon unfold. He is still young and he knows the world has more for him to offer. Although he always anticipates and always have himself excited over things, he want himself controlled but freed someway. He didn't want to lose that hope, faith and love he always has. For he knows that someone out there, God has prepared someone special for him. Someone that will accept his everything. Someone that would make him feel the way he wanted to be feeling. Someone that even in his weakness would make him feel strong. And someone that he longs to embrace and share his ups and downs with. Someone that will show his real him everyday, no pretentions, no doubts. Just someone who would make him happy and simply fall in love.

Labels: lovestory

posted by juliusmarzan @ 1:01 PM 0 comments