driven: lots of misses

Thursday, October 11, 2007

lots of misses

it's been a month since i last visited the cyberworld. i'm feeling old and workaholic (not because i want to, damn.) i had my last household last sunday. it was fun. i'll miss the whole household in my chapter. i don't know what's exactly happening in the cfc-yfc community but i do pray the issues would be solved and hopefully things will get better. and with our new heads hopefully it's a big rebirth for better generations.

how am i? i'm quite tired. life and work. so i am here at rob and spend time here at a net cafe to just update myself on what's happening with my friends, some relatives and the world. aw i really miss a lot of things. there's really a lot that changed. i don't know if it's just me. shit. i hate when i feel i'm out of myself again. huh. vague.

last week i was kind of wandering why are there so many problems coming up when i was supposed to be enjoying life at my age. guess i was really not born to live the life i want to have. poor and single. how was that? and just when you thought everything's gonna be fine you'll see your mom crying. do i deserve this? i want to see this trials as blessings. but sometimes it was just too hard. i pray but i can't seem to focus much. maybe i'm just disturbed. maybe i just have to put my head on my job. maybe i'll just stop finding and waiting for someone. maybe there is no someone. maybe i'll have to live this life miserably. maybe i just have to work and work. not rest and just handle the responsiblity in my family. maybe...

i'll be 21 next month. nothing. just want to say it. huh. growing up. hehe. i remember in one of the tv series i watched it says adulthood is responsiblity. hmm guess it's right.