Thursday, September 07, 2006

over and over

I haven't talked to Him that much seriously over this past few days. My prayer life had even gone worse. I have to say I am covered with guilt as to what I am doing, thinking or what have been each and every day I should not be wanting.

The entrapment of this whole identity I've been trying to let out, just keeps getting harder every time. I try to focus on something much more important, more valuable as to what this emotions been unlocking. I don't want to sound so mysterious or so pathetic whatsoever... but I'm worrying on how a person, unsure if he's going to do over and over again of some things he is guilty of, would actually be able to get over all of this whatever-you-may-call-it.

There are certain things in our life we just can't runaway from. There are moments that have passed and just wanders in your head. You can't get rid of. You are ashamed of. There are people affecting your decisions. There are situations you can't get away and just accept as it is. Factors of factors affecting who you are, what you believe, what is in you.

the guilt. the sin. the life.

*after I wrote this entry I was walking in our campus to eat time for my vacant slot then I have a chance to pass the UST chapel, I don't know why, but there's something that pushes me to go inside. It was so quiet. I am hesitant to say the things that bugs me. But then I remember our God won't leave us, no matter what. I just prayed. Tell everything. I'm not sure what will happen after. I didn't even swear I will change. I just say things that have been kept inside me. It feels better, better than worse. I don't know if this questioning is unending but I know He's planning something. I believe He wants me to be happy. That being happy won't mean today nor tomorrow. Maybe someday, the perfect time.

2 Comments:

At 1:05 AM, Blogger afg said...

Bro,

Whatever circumstance you're into right now, I pray that God may deliver you and lead you to a better place. I think you need to have a personal relationship with God through accepting Jesus Christ as your personal Savior and Lord of your life. It's more than religion. It's about having a deep relationship with Him.

I pray that one of these days, I could talk to you and pray for whatever concerns that you have right now.

I believe God can do to you what He has done to me, to jaja, Jared, Ghie, Apple and many christians who has accepted and Jesus Christ and have a deep and better relationship with Him.

Read John 10:10 and John 3:16.
Hope w could see each other so that I could pray for you personally.

God is talking to you right now.
Listen to Him. This is the time to open your heart and mind for Him.
God bless, bro.

 
At 9:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey em-em.

i'll be very happy to talk to you personally. para we discover what He really has for you.

i am with you in prayers. feel free to contact me. prayers can be shared over coffee.

i love you em-em.

jaja

 

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