driven

escapist

09162006

too many thoughts keep running my head this past few weeks. too much ramblings. i even stayed distressed out of nothing, you know, i should be doing my volume four for three weeks yet i just froze every time i'm in front of my computer which then most of the time i end up doing other stuff instead. there's no progress at all.

well what basically is inside me. i feel emotionally disturbed. to the point that i'm going psycho rolling my bed last night. hah! i felt stupid after realizing what i just did that time.

anyway the procrastination/escape week include watching great movies. to avoid the unnecessary feelings. yeah.

i laugh and cry with jennifer aniston(still my fave actress..she's sexy) and vince vaughn's "the break up", even though i am not intimately involved with someone else before, i like to say that there are certain relationships that should be kept in some ways, like just being friends instead of having a commitment, to stay that good interaction and in the end much better relationship.

and then i am awestruck with meryl strip's "the devil wears prada", wuhoo andrea (anne h.) looks pretty in new york streets. i like emily. i don't want to meet a dragonlady or dragonman when i apprentice for architecture unless i'd really learn a lot.

whatelse?! yeah i also got a chance to watch "highschool musical". i always caught myself singing 'breaking free', which is one of their songs in the movie. i like the siblings opposite gabriella and troy. haha their fun to watch. very high school.... 'soaring, flying, there's no star in heaven that we can't reach... if we're tryin' then we're breaking free....' hehe

anyway one of the movie that really touched me is "click" yeah the comedy thing of adam sandler. aside from the comic antics of adam, the movie is so good it teaches value. the importance of time. the balancing of work and family. too much focused on career causing too stressed out mind and body. yeah and whatelse interest me but the lead guy being an architect. so there's some sort of connection which most architects i guess could relate into. it welcomes the viewer to some of the hardship and negative side of arhitect's life. like us student's experiencing right now, we need social life but we just don't have time, we want to sleep, but only in our dreams!!!! haha you know finishing all those projects and plates and models made you want to put that caffeine in your system. haha. but then you didn't know you're losing your family and friends because you don't have time for them, because you don't want them around while doing some drafts or sketches. i remember one of our prof telling us that overtime is just a norm in the office, maybe even as we go to sleep there's still the image of what we are building, the concept and the ideas running and evolving. i really felt teary eyed when adam sandler's role got old and he skipped he's father's death because of that universal remote control which can make everything fast forward. you know that father and son thing going.

and then the last thing i watched that week was "mozart and the whale" which is a story of two autistic, a guy(played by josh hartnett, a math savant) and a girl(an art and music savant), they battle the world with their difference, despite they're psycho illness they felt they're good together and so they became lovers. the good part was that you can see how could a two autistic, knowing they're condition, would actually relate to one another and live together. the conflict arises because everytime they argue it always lead to the guy wanting to be normal but the girl wants them to purely accept what they are and live with their situation.

one line that strikes me was told by the girl to his guy while fighting because his autistic girl just didn't behave normally during a visit of that autistic guy's boss( which actually hires him because he's good in math and not considering the condition)...... she said " ... you know what, there's only one difference between us, you wanna be normal, and you crave for it "

any person can just relate to it. we want to be someone we are not. we are living because we want to achieve something to be that someone we want to be. but along the way we are forgetting important things. our true selves. who we are, what we've become because of people who cares for us because of who we simply are. over envisioning of one's self sometimes lead to pretensions. the unacceptance of our true identity. it's just so hard especially to those people who is seen and judged by others but feel so different inside in reality. scared of letting others know who we truly are. and i honestly felt it most of the time. feels like someone's in control. but you just can't do anything but go with the flow and do the right thing.

posted by juliusmarzan @ 6:47 PM